Guild Grumps
by xt1me
Summary: What would the Game Grumps be a D&D characters (I don't know if I have this in the right section)


_So while this was inspired by the recent D &D Game Grump's series, 'Dragons in Places', it doesn't actually have anything to do with that series. Nor does it have anything to do with the 'Guild Grumps' series where they all play World of Warcraft. This is basically just the Game Grumps as D&D characters._

* * *

Danny thanked the merchant who had given him the ride with a smile and wandered into the small town.

It was dark by now as the merchant had been delayed along the road. Danny had gotten the ride in exchanged for some light entertainment so he couldn't complain.

Stretching his legs he walked through the town. He was really starting to feel like he was a Journeyman Bard now he was out of the big city. Of course he had done gigs before but that was always with the bard guild or at the very least with his friends. This would be his first time out on his own.

He felt a pang of loneliness as he thought of that. His friend Brian offered to join him on this journey but he had comments to family & clan. Danny was glad he knew of Brian's secretive ninja clan even though he didn't know all the details. It meant that his friend hadn't need to come up with any excuses as to why he couldn't come. Joining the bard guild was supposed to have been mainly a cover for the ninja but Brian had confided in him that he had enjoyed it a lot more then he would have thought.

Brain had promised to join him when his duties had been fulfilled but neither of them knew when that would be.

Danny shook off his melancholy. It would happen eventually. For now, he could work on his mastery. He was very proud of his trick of layering his voice with Ghost Sound. He was his own backing vocals. Hopefully the locals here would enjoy it too.

Danny finally spotted the local bar and made his way towards it.

He slowed down to a stop when he heard singing coming from inside.

It was later then he thought.  
He may be new at this but he knew enough. Trying to look for work in a tavern that had already had entertainment was a good way of making enemies, especially if they were locals.

He didn't need to borrow trouble.

Sighing he pulled out his purse and counted his change.

He could go in anyway and get a drink. Maybe get the lay of the land before coming back tomorrow. But he also know that he would need to spend what little money he had wisely. Everyone knew there was no grantee on the road as to when you were next getting paid.

As he was debating with himself he spotted a man leaving the bar.  
That decided him. If people were already leaving he might as well cut his losses and get some rest.

He was just about to turn and head back to where the merchant had said he could stay the night when he spotted suspicious movement.

Two rough looking men had stepped out from the shadows and had started following the one who had just left the bar.  
The weapons they were carrying did not make it look like they had anyone's best interests in mind.

It wasn't an unusual scram, wait by a tavern or bar for someone to come out that looked like that had money and rob them when they were too drunk to resist.

Danny know he had to do something.  
He followed after them as quietly as he could.

The man they were all following seemed oblivious as he wandered into an ally off the main street.

In the ally he seemed to finally realise what was happening as he turned to face the thugs.

The biggest thug decided to start the nights festivity with the traditional, "Give us your money!"

Danny obviously hadn't been quiet enough as the other thug spun around waving a dagger at him growling, "You too string bean".

"Hey now," Danny said as calmly as possible, "You don't need to do this. I don't have anything you want and I doubt someone just leaving a bar has much left for you to use either. There's two of us and two of you, let's just forget all of this and go on our way. What do you say?"

The thugs smirked, "I say someone can't count."

A man and a woman appeared on the other end other ally with weapons drawn. They must have done this before. Surrounding their victim four against one probably gave them the confidence to do this so close the main street. The fact that Danny was on the outside of the first two meant that he could get away but their original victim didn't have that option.

Danny wasn't going just abandon the man but the odds weren't looking good.

The man in question, however, looked unconcerned.

"Well, this looks like it might actually be interesting."

"Shut up and hand us your money!" said the big thug, waving his short sword.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I've been rude. Let me introduce myself," the man said raising his hands into the air, "My names Arin and this-" he whipped the long sword from his back faster than Danny thought was possible "Is the Egoraptor. We'll be kicking your ass now."

The rather impressive introduction was undercut immediately as the thugs started laughing.

"What kind of sissy carries a pink sword?!" the big thug laughed, "I thought you were girly enough in your pink armour but this?"

It was hard to tell in the dim light but Danny could see that the leather armour Arin was wearing was indeed a light red. It actually looked like dragon hide armour. Well-worn dragon hide armour. That really should have been the thug's first clue.

Next should have been the fact that for such a large sword Arin was holding it quite easily.

Lastly was the sword itself.

Danny had worked in the bard guild for some time now. There were a lot of Fay that liked music. He'd seen a number of theatrical, flashy or even gaudy people or things that were actually incredibly powerful.

And he knew a magic weapon when he saw one.

Suddenly the odds didn't look so bad after all.

"You going to try poking us with your stick, girly?" one of the other thugs leered.

"Ok, hold on," Arin said, "Can one of you lot explain why everyone here seems to think calling me a girl is an insult? Where I'm from it's a compliment."

"Oh yeah, where are you from? Wimpy sissy land?"

"You know what? I wasn't having a great day. I think fighting a bunch of idiots who think trying to piss off a berserker is a good idea is just what I need."

The Thugs laughter was abruptly cut off as the large man launched himself at them.

Danny took the opportunity to deal the thug that had been threatening him.

By the time the thief went down the other three were scattered around the ally. It seemed like the thugs had relied on numbers rather than skill.

Danny carefully sheathed his weapon and backed away. Arin had said he was a berserker after all. While Danny had never met one before he knew enough to know that you didn't get to close to one in battle, especially if they didn't know you.

But the other man seemed fine. He sheathed his long short and smiled at Danny.

"Thanks for helping out."

"It looks like you didn't need it," Danny said ruefully.

Arin shrugged, "You didn't know that, you just wanted to help. So, thanks."

Arin looked Danny up and down. "I haven't seen you around before, you new? "

"Yeah," Danny replied, "Just got here. I'm a bard."

"No kidding? That's cool, I've always liked music. Are you looking for work?"

"Yeah," said Danny carefully.

"Great," Arin said cheerfully. "I used to have a partner but he left to make his fortune in other lands. There's a group I sometimes work with guarding caravans and such but the StreamTrain won't be around these parts for at least another month. I was kind of bummed because I've got a job lined up but I didn't want to try to go it alone. Everyone know a Bard's a good addition to any adventuring party, you want to join me? I'll spilt everything 50/50."

"Why me?" Danny asked surprised.

"You're obviously a good guy. I've got a good feeling about you, what do you say?"

Danny thought about it for a bit before finally deciding why not.

"Sure."

Arin shook his hand.

"Welcome to the Guild Grumps"

* * *

 _Author's Note: So I don't know what magic Arin's sword actually has but I did think of a back story for it._

 _Long ago some big bad warlord type wanted a magic weapon. He went to some famous weapon maker & got them to swear to make the sword. But the guy was a dick & kills an apprentice or something to prove he was evil so the weapon maker decided to get revenge. They had already given their word to make the sword so they just made the most garish, tacky sword possible. It's bright pink & sparkly & the most unmasculine weapon ever. They gave the weapon over knowing the warlord would be horribly embarrassed whenever he use it and if he ever did he would be laughed at. And, the piece de resistance is that the full magic of the sword cannot be used by anyone ashamed to wield it._

 _Its name was supposed to be EgoRipper but the weapon maker was more used to straight Dwarven runes rather than curly Elven ones so made a mistake when engraving. By the time they realised it they decided it didn't matter._

 _Years later it ended up in a small barbarian tribe who live in the middle of nowhere. Since their closest neighbors are marauding orcs & wondering monsters they don't care what something looks like as long as it works. So it became a treasured weapon of the tribe with the greatest warriors of the tribe competing to have the honour of wielding it (& since they're proud to wield it they have no problem using its magic)._

 _Every warrior who wins the honour can choose to leave the tribe to earn their fortune as it's magic enough to make its way back with or without the person it left with. Someone who doesn't die on adventures inevitably sends money home so the tribe does well for itself._


End file.
